What happens in Battery Park, stays in Battery Park

So let's see, gays can't marry because marriage is a 'sacred sacrament' in America, right?

Well, in the race to the bottom of the marriage barrel, New York City wants to turn lower Manhattan into a type of Las Vegas cheap, quick, and schlocky wedding center where you can buy a marrigae license for $25.

"Forget the wedding band? No problem. The new bureau offers an elastic faux-diamond band for $9. No flowers? They are available as well — $4 to $7 for a single stem and $25 to $50 for a bridal bouquet. There is also hairspray ($4), disposable digital cameras ($16.25) and tissues, at $1.75 a pack, for the weepy types."

$4 hairspray? Johnny's getting all choked up.

Sacred.

If you wants you some wedding music, just plug-in the iPod to the docking station and the lucky bride can wander up the aisle to perhaps 'Beth' by KISS, or 'Silly Love Songs' by Wings.

Sacred.

Yep, NYC has even set up an oversize photograph of City Hall to be used as a backdrop for pictures. Awwwwwww. Nothing says love like a fake backdrop. "Look kids, this is where we wish we'd been hitched, isn't it purty?"

New York City will partner with something called 'The Knot' or theknot.com and just listen to the romantic underpinings of The Knot's Carley Roney:

“Weddings are a $72 billion business in this country”. Awwwww, love, you can't beat it.

Sacred.

You stay classy NYC, and we hope soon drunken hoards of cheap and easy marriage seekers are wandering lower Manhattan and taking the Staten Island Ferry for their dream wedding cruise.

Sacred.