Monday, April 20, 2009

Oh dear God, it's here! It's found us!! The giant Space Cat head with laser eyes attacks two men in Jersey City!

Somehow, someway citizens the Giant Space Cat Head has made it's way east to Jersey City. Nobody is safe now. Two men were walking on Kennedy Boulevard near Manhattan Ave. when suddenly, the cat head came flying out of Leonard Gordon Park and started firing at them. They took refuge under a vehicle there and were not seriously hurt. One of the men who asked to not be identified for fear of Giant Cat Head retaliation told police "That's messed up, I mean a giant cat head with laser beams?! Has Hell opened upon us?"

Jersey City police had no comment for the Jersey City Desk but it was clear they have no idea what they are up against.

(File footage)
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6 comments:

  1. Trixie Junior Space PunkApril 20, 2009 at 9:32 PM

    It was just a matter of time, Johnny. Why does no one heed our warnings?

    Jersey City Desk better stock up on cat treats and tin foil...

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  2. Johnny Action Space PunkApril 20, 2009 at 9:48 PM

    Cat treats? Are you kidding? It'll take your treats and fry your melon!!

    I don't know how it found us, he must read the interwebs

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  3. Trixie Junior Space PunkApril 20, 2009 at 11:19 PM

    I thought maybe you could leave a trail of treats leading to Newark. The tin foil was just to keep the cat treats fresh.

    You can tell I've put a lot of thought into this. As you know your (little) sister site at Naperville City Desk has had staffers in meetings with consultants for weeks to learn disaster preparedness - pirates and giant laser-eyed cat heads are the chief threats. We're taking it seriously at NCD.

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  4. Johnny Action Space PunkApril 20, 2009 at 11:32 PM

    Well Naperville better hope and pray this thing doesn't have siblings or disaster preparedness will be on the menu there.

    The Devils play in Newark, they also have enough problems of their own, I'd leave kitteh food out for it in Hoboken.

    Sounds like your staff is ramping up nicely, you must have landed that Yoo-Hoo ad account on NCD, well played!

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  5. Trixie Junior Space PunkApril 21, 2009 at 12:16 AM

    Well, the office is still a toolshed outbuilding but we're working on it. Almost everyone has a chair now... Nothing like the palatial JCD offices and we'd hoped to have a koi pond by the end of the summer but we learned it might attract GL-ECH (giant laser-eyed cat heads).
    Money is going back in the budget and Stuart the copy editor is crossing his fingers for a padded folding chair by mid-summer or so. Baby steps!

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  6. Johnny Action Space PunkApril 21, 2009 at 10:05 AM

    I like Stuart, it's good to see him back in men's clothes

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