The wind is right, the moon is up late and Johnny wants him some TriBeCa property cheap

So if you see a guy skulking along the river before the moon comes up tying up plump plague rats to helium balloons and loading hundreds of others onto a makeshitft rafts with sails set to catch the 50 mph winds from the west, ignore that guy. Johnny figures nothing will bring down the price of a loft in TriBeCa faster than plague rats running around. Property is gonna open up pretty fast once the coroner's office gets it in gear and the price per square foot drops lower than a pregnant wiener dog.

Now, granted, a couple of the boats could skirt lower Manhattan and find their way to Brooklyn and the wind is pretty strong so some of those helium balloons are gonna be dropping rats all the way over the East River into Queens. Oops. Our bad. And for the balloons that might get caught up on the shall we say taller buildings -- well PETA has rapid response teams for that.

Johnny tried knocking on doors asking for some cheap prices and put in some lowball bids which was going nowhere fast. Then one night he caught a Powerpuff Girls rerun and noted a similar plan from super evil genius monkey Mojo Jojo.

Rodents away! Now whip out those checkbooks and let's move some property.