The drunken barn dance otherwise known as the Hoboken St. Patrick's Day parade and open bar has been cancelled! UPDATED

Now what the hell is Johnny going to do for amusement around here every March? That was good copy for weeks. Oh goddammit.

It's true, Hoboken has cancelled the drunken orgy they worked so hard to perfect. The parade committee released the following statement on their website:

"There are many opinions on this topic and many who will be surprised by our decision. We chose not to go to court and not to continue to negotiate over the heavy-handedness of one person. The idea of marching in a parade, in the dark, on a week night, is as insulting as it is unreasonable. While we remain devoted to our heritage, we love our city too much to lower ourselves to the level of those who speak from a place of ignorance and ethnic/religious intolerance."

Did you get that Dawn Zimmer? We're going to go out on a limb and say you are the heavy handed one person they are talking about. RAWR huh? So Mayor, are you gonna take that mess from the committee? Any mayor worth their salt would point out what a mess the committee has let the parade become.

Wait, there's one more quote we need to pass along from the parade committee:

"...the city of Hoboken’s inability to protect our spectators, bands and participants."

Oh double BURN. AND your police force Mayor Zimmer. Now you HAVE to publicly excoriate those Irish bums (Johnny is 100% Irish and can say such things) and stick up for your police and firefighters (one of whom was spit on in the drunken revelry).

Hey, everyone, Jersey City has an AWESOME St. Patrick's Day parade and our mayor is Irish for real. If you read the comments on the Jersey Journal website he's really Irish. *wink wink nudge nudge* The beers are cold and tasty in Jersey City and there are dozens of fantastic watering holes to choose from.

Johnny speaks on behalf of all of Jersey City when he says to all of the disappointed and neglected Hoboken parade-goers JERSEY CITY IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS. Leave your cares in the Mile Square City and come south where it's sunny and warmer.

UPDATE: Mayor Zimmer fires back and the Hudson Reporter has you covered.

"...Unfortunately the aftermath of the parade feels like an uncontrollable siege of our community.

Last year it reached a fever pitch with high levels of property damage, urination on the streets and on people’s homes, sexual assaults, and flower pots were even thrown on our firemen when they responded to a call."

Man this is good stuff, where's the popcorn?