It was either this or an expose on corruption in Jersey City with pictures to back it up

So we're going with Philadelphia jokes instead...

Q: Why doesn't Allentown get an NFL team? A: Because then Philly would want one too.

Q: What is the difference between a dollar and the Eagles? A: You can at least get 4 quarters out of a dollar

Q: Why did Eric Lindros retire early? A: He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!

Q: What's black and orange and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber? A: The Philadelphia Flyers

Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps? A: They had pictures of Flyers players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What is the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pot hole? A: People swerve to avoid a pot hole!

Q: How many Philadelphia Flyers does it take to change a tire? A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: If you have a car containing a Flyers forward, a Flyers center, and a Flyers defender, who is driving the car? A: The cop.

Q: What's the difference between an Philadelphia Flyers fan and a carp? A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

And finally

Q: How many Philadelphia Flyers fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

 Welcome to Philadelphia, please set your watches back 15 years.