As the FuHo turns....

OK, we've had our initial sniping and finger pointing over how the Hoboken St. Patrick's Day parade became what it is. Yesterday FuHo Mayor Dawn Zimmer said the Mile Square City would still plan on hundreds if not thousands of revelers on the first Saturday in March (March 3rd this year) despite no parade for them to attend.

Wow, this is becoming a witches brew isn't it kids? You'll have so many people drinking, and many of them angry over the parade cancellation. When drunk people get angry and they are looking for payback against a faceless government entity things tend to get broken....and burned. Most Hoboken residents and parade attendees would never ever stoop to such a thing. That being said if you've ever studied crowd behavior it only takes one goober knocking something down or breaking a window for others to emulate goober #1.

We've got a bad feeling about this.

Of course, as we noted yesterday Jersey City is open for business and if it is a parade you're looking for we have that. A great parade. We have many local watering holes for those who wanna enjoy a Guinness or nip of Jameson's whiskey afterward.

We also have more than one PATH stop. Transit for the imbibed has never been easier!

The drunken barn dance otherwise known as the Hoboken St. Patrick's Day parade and open bar has been cancelled! UPDATED

Now what the hell is Johnny going to do for amusement around here every March? That was good copy for weeks. Oh goddammit.

It's true, Hoboken has cancelled the drunken orgy they worked so hard to perfect. The parade committee released the following statement on their website:

"There are many opinions on this topic and many who will be surprised by our decision. We chose not to go to court and not to continue to negotiate over the heavy-handedness of one person. The idea of marching in a parade, in the dark, on a week night, is as insulting as it is unreasonable. While we remain devoted to our heritage, we love our city too much to lower ourselves to the level of those who speak from a place of ignorance and ethnic/religious intolerance."

Did you get that Dawn Zimmer? We're going to go out on a limb and say you are the heavy handed one person they are talking about. RAWR huh? So Mayor, are you gonna take that mess from the committee? Any mayor worth their salt would point out what a mess the committee has let the parade become.

Wait, there's one more quote we need to pass along from the parade committee:

"...the city of Hoboken’s inability to protect our spectators, bands and participants."

Oh double BURN. AND your police force Mayor Zimmer. Now you HAVE to publicly excoriate those Irish bums (Johnny is 100% Irish and can say such things) and stick up for your police and firefighters (one of whom was spit on in the drunken revelry).

Hey, everyone, Jersey City has an AWESOME St. Patrick's Day parade and our mayor is Irish for real. If you read the comments on the Jersey Journal website he's really Irish. *wink wink nudge nudge* The beers are cold and tasty in Jersey City and there are dozens of fantastic watering holes to choose from.

Johnny speaks on behalf of all of Jersey City when he says to all of the disappointed and neglected Hoboken parade-goers JERSEY CITY IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS. Leave your cares in the Mile Square City and come south where it's sunny and warmer.

UPDATE: Mayor Zimmer fires back and the Hudson Reporter has you covered.

"...Unfortunately the aftermath of the parade feels like an uncontrollable siege of our community.

Last year it reached a fever pitch with high levels of property damage, urination on the streets and on people’s homes, sexual assaults, and flower pots were even thrown on our firemen when they responded to a call."

Man this is good stuff, where's the popcorn?

Uh oh, FuHo's gone and done it this time -- Only weekday St. Patrick's fun next year

Hoboken Mayor Dawn O'Zimmer has spoken. She's got half the city congratulating her while the other half swears revenge at the ballot box. Mayor Zimmer has decided after all the arrests, open container summonses and new this year with the sexual assaults, that next year's Hoboken St. Patrick's parade will be on a Wednesday, not the first Saturday of March anymore.

Zimmer cited the sexual assaults, the public urination and attacks on fire department responders as the reasoning:

"Despite our very best efforts, we have a situation that puts... our public safety at risk".

Here's the breakdown of the misbehavior in Fuho (and we'd like to point out not everyone who got a summons or was arrested for peeing in somebody's yard are from the Mile Square City, just most of them):

34 arrests (up from 25 last year)
296 citations (115 for open container, 59 citations for urinating in public)
80 traffic violations
2 sexual assaults
And this:

Fire officials responded to a call at 805 Washington Street about a fire at the back of building, but the fire had already been put out, said Chief Blohm. But fire officials encountered several people on the 4th floor balcony of the building that threw a flower pot, spat and dumped beer onto the responders.

So FuHo, your big parades are over unless of course everyone simply takes that Wednesday off and shows up with a vengeance. We're not saying we wouldn't encourage that kind of thinking, after all we're a salacious blog, duh.

Maybe Hobokenites could take some lessons in manners from us here in Jersey City. Lessons are Tuesday nights at Skinners Loft.

Here is free lesson in manners #1:

It's the annual St. Patrick's Parade and drunken barn dance in FuHo today

WHY run a quote on drinking from Hoboken's own Frank Sinatra on drinking? Now you know why.

Yes police scanner radio fans, Hoboken is having their annual St. Patrick's parade replete with thousands upon thousands of out-of-town revelers, open bars and police drinking checkpoints. If any of you party nuggets are planning on attending this year's festivities please do not forget that FuHo balances their budget handing out open alcohol citations that run upwards of a couple hundred bills. Make sure you're not paying for civic improvements up there for drinking out of a paper bag.

We really think that Hoboken should invite Snooki to be the parade grand mashall/grand hussy. She would set the proper tone for today. If you're looking for something cheap and yet educational, around 8 pm through midnight take the 33rd St. PATH train that stops coming and going in Hoboken. Now just take a look at the people getting on a off. Make sure to take pictures (and send them to Johnny -- he'll publish them) for your memory book, Hoboken St. Patrick's parade day 2011.