Johnny needs one of these

Walking around town this morning Johnny saw a guy with a welder on the end of a big "stick" being used to burn off an outside fire escape and shaft. What a handy little thing. How nice would having something like this be getting a seat at an outdoor concert like Coachella or Randall Island?

"I want to sit here."

"No."

"Wrong answer!" (as Johnny pulls out the wand o' sparks and starts making a place to sit and people flee)

Gotta get to a hardware store this weekend....