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Johnny working on his Yoda this morning...

When you speak of Johnny, do speak well; The failed EV parking program that encompasses the block between Marin & Provost on First St. has now turned most of those EV spots over to actual parking people actually use. With the parking crunch downtown from all the construction, residents have been forced into 'streets away from home parking.' It made no good sense to take an entire block of prime city parking, you know, the kind that pays the city back with permits and fines, and turn it over as part of Shuster's abatement "giveback" for the Art House and Jokeman. Johnny railed on this ridiculous plan from the hop. He did his research on how many EV's were sold in Hudson and Essex counties that might just need to come park on a one block section of First St. in downtown Jersey City, and not all that easy to get to. Just about the only cars seen charging were owned by Maven, the company that partnered with General Motors on the chargers. Johnny wondered that almost every time he sent his research to the city and showed how poor the plan was he'd see Maven cars charging over the next couple days. This idea comes straight from the playbook that if a McDonalds isn't selling enough cheeseburgers at a location Ronald McDonald comes in and buys 100 to get the numbers up.

Time and time again Johnny posted pictures and showed councilwoman Candice Osborne as well as Rolando Lavarro, council president, of an empty street that could certainly be used. Since this wasn't any kind of 'We'll do this for one year and see how it goes program' rather than just a bad idea for an abatement give back we're going to go ahead and say the squeaky wheel gets the grease and Jersey City gets some badly needed parking back.

The UCLA basketball team can thank Johnny now.

Yet another waste of Jersey City taxpayer money

Developers can say they'll do a lot of things "for" Jersey City when they come hat in hand before the planning commission, city council et al. Some say they'll build a small elementary school downtown, in the richest area, a school kids from Greenville have zero hope of attending. Some say they will do something down the road, like Toll Brothers who probably lied when they said to get their abatement for The Morgan said they'd build a community theater. Word on that from sources downtown say it'll never be built, Toll will cry poor but Johnny digresses. A lot of promises are made to take your tax money "in lieu of payment" ie taxes like you pay.

Shuster, when they wanted tax money to build their very unnecessary igloos on First St., (Shuster is, by the way, complaining about the new city law that requires them to pave side to side after tearing up a street -- how's that for gratitude?) the Art House and The Jokeman said they would provide the city with parking out front of both places, roughly an entire city block they would dedicate to parking and charging of electric vehicles, ie Chevy Volts, Nissan Leafs etc. This was Shuster's "giveback" to the city for getting huge abatements.

Problem is, the spots are never in use. By never we mean never -- as far as EV's are concerned. Shuster contractors and employees now get FREE PARKING out front of their buildings because NOBODY is using the 30 or so electric spots. Shuster guys just move the cones for their own contractors and workers and YOU pay for that. Yes Jersey City, YOU pay for Shuster employees to park for free on city streets.

Now, the city in it's infinite wisdom was using this EV charging location as a test case, ie can we do this elsewhere and have it work. No doubt developers all over Hudson County would line up to get the abatement deal Shuster got, we'll GIVE you the parking spaces, just contract someone to come put in chargers. That's it. Simple.

Johnny is going to make a bold statement but he's pretty certain he can back it up with his long history in auto media; Nobody from Jersey City got down and did the full research on exactly how many EV's there are in Hudson County, how many are registered in Jersey City or the surround. Nobody did a count, nobody thought to look around message forums or boards looking for EV drivers around the Tri-State looking for downtown plug-in parking. If the city did any of this Johnny would be A) Surprised B) Our subpoena for JC's data on this would be immediate from the Jersey City Desk legal team.

Bottom line, somebody THOUGHT this would be a great idea. But, instead of running a test program in another slice of downtown, they built in millions in abatements around a failed plan. Instead we have an utter waste of millions of taxpayer dollars.

FAIL to city planning (again), FAIL to City Council (again) LOSS for Jersey City taxpayers who had a block of parking taken away and handed to a contractor to collect money off your street that has no cars.

Johnny has one more prediction on this; When someone from the city government does read this (and they do, Johnny sees their IP addy's coming in) they'll simply think the program is an even bigger hit than they'd hoped because someone is talking about it, it's how Jersey City government works.

The ugliest new building in Jersey City is....

Jersey City has some REALLY bad new architecture going on. Everything either needs a sibling building (boring) or the architects simply could give two fucks about our skyline and neighborhoods. Johnny has decided to let you, the Jersey City residents have your say on which new building is the ugliest.

First, the rules, any new building coming online, ie allowing tenants in in 2015 is eligible for this 2016 award.

Let's not be CBS and the NCAA Tournament show and get right to the nominees:

The new Mirbella, the Oakman (Jokeman), the new Ironstate in Journal Square and little Jared Kushner's tribute to his father-in-law, the Shithead Trump building will all be eligible next year as they will open this year. Now that that's cleared up we have three key nominees all relatively close to each other:

Lloyd Goldman's The One

Void of any feeling, void of any interesting architecture, void of anything top end this is a candidate that simply can't be overlooked. Well, actually it should be overlooked but no doubt it's made many a person's eyes bleed as they gaze upon it. The backside looks like a prison entrance and the best views include a park Goldman's goofs tore up and the light rail down below.

Toll Brothers The Morgan

A Toll Brothers VP told a meeting of PADNA he simply could neither defend the architect of The Morgan, nor it's look. He said it's why Toll had a new architect to build their new Phase Two shithole at the corner of Warren and Morgan. Basic, bland, ill colored brick for the neighborhood it's in, and on the back wall that overlooks a lawn it might be the ugliest "mural" in all the land.

Shuster's Art House

A beige block of ice, a non-descript building in an old neighborhood filled with architectural gems. It doesn't help the Art House that Shuster is building an almost exact copy called The Jokeman, er Oakman right next door. One is supposed to be high end (Johnny's seen brochures dropped in his lobby like trash for the Oakman, it ain't that high end people) while the other is affordable rentals. Look at the outsides of the buildings and tell which is which. Exactly. Ugly! Branding Problem!

Feel free to jump into comments and vote for the one that hurts your eyes the most. Vote on it and make America great again LOL...

Nice job Shuster, way to value the neighborhoods you build in

With the grand fuckery of Lloyd Goldman's BLDG at 110 First St., Toll Brothers (The Morgan), and Mill Creek, Shuster has flown pretty much under the radar despite destroying a two-block section of First St. This morning that all changed. Johnny saw what Jersey City truly means to Shuster. A worker standing on the property next door to the Art House was busy using a leaf blower and merely blowing trash off the Art House property, into the Parlay Studios property, then into the streets and sewer. Magic huh? Does anyone think this is the first time Shuster has had someone get rid of trash like this? Johnny first asked the worker if he was working for the Art House blowing trash. He said he did not. This despite the fact he was wearing an Art House shirt. He said he was cleaning up the trash whereas Johnny saw it as redistributing trash in the street.

You be the judge but remember, if you don't want to support this kind of stupidity you can simply walk right by Shuster's McCondos at the Art House and soon the Oakman (You know, The JokeMan with advertising for white people) and find better accommodations, they abound everywhere in Jersey City.

SHAME on you Shuster.

The Oakman in downtown Jersey City, it's for white people!

Perhaps you have seen the ads hanging off a dump of a building, maybe you've seen them in the PATH system or maybe, just maybe you were unfortunate enough to walk by the huge placards for 'The Oakman", a new unnecessary pile of bricks and sticks on First St.

What an ad it is too! Just look at these images, can they get any more white people in it doing douchey poses? Hey, they're ALL excited about the Oakman and who can blame them. It looks like fine luxury living for white people. Oh sure, they may bitch and whine and snivel once this story goes live and hits the Twitter but ya know what? The Oakman should step up, be responsible and stand behind their advertising. This is the face they WANT to show Jersey City. This is, after all, their introduction to you as a city. And what an introduction eh? Have minorities or people of color ever been dismissed out of hand any quicker or subliminally told to keep walking you're not welcome here?

Either the people behind The Oakman (The Joke Man) spent time on marketing and figuring out their potential markets downtown in Jersey City before they built a multi-million dollar building OR they simply pasted shit on a sign with no thought at all behind it. These are their available explanations. Any other explanation is implausible.

The Jokeman (Johnny added the thought bubbles such as they are):

City Planners in Jersey City, never asking the right questions

Johnny is pissed off after is walk through PADNA this morning.

City Planning, friends, if you've ever needed more proof these people get to work, eat Coco Puffs for about an hour and then do, well, nothing. When they allowed Mill Creek, Toll Brothers, Pavarini McGovern, Trump and Shuster to get plans passed (once City Planning failed to list PADNA as a historic District by the allotted time -- funny how THAT worked) so overwhelmingly friendly on terms to the builders downtown residents are now dealing with City Planning not asking the right questions. Did city planners ask since the roads are so small where you're working if they had any kind of pick up and drop off plan for deliveries? You'll see in the images below this question was never asked. How will the trucks impact those bombed out narrow roads? This question sure doesn't look like it was asked. Did City Planning gift the builders with some kind of "Just park in the streets residents be damned" rider?

So now friends your car, legally parked, is at the mercy of delivery trucks downtown (When the construction bros don't sneak into a legal spot without a city tag). Trucks line the streets, streets supposed to be able to handle street traffic have been closed, narrowed further, bombed out and their plastic they use to cover the delivery loads simply finds a home in a tree or a power line (Mill Creek are ESPECIALLY BAD about understanding they make a mess and it needs to be cleaned the hell up).

So City Planning, let's ask if you planned for these builders to give you some kind of plan to move supplies in and out that don't require trucks to sit for UP TO THREE HOURS on city streets? You allowed Toll to close off an entire city block. You allowed Mill Creek to close off an entire city block. Why can't these trucks wait in the VAST amount of property the builders are now taking up? C'mon City Planning, you allowed this swaths of land to be taken and now they STILL want to inconvenience residents.

Somewhere, somehow someone at City Planning in Jersey City will read this screed. And they'll head right back to the kitchen for more Coco Puffs.

All the trucks you'll see have been parked this morning for at least one hour, some much longer.