Sunday School

The Reverend Johnny this week wants his good readers to know that teenage alcoholics make God angry. Nothing makes the invisible man in the sky more upset than when you raid your parents liquor cabinets or run around town in your Buick Roadmaster all hopped up careening down Ventura Boulevard ruining lives.

This week Reverend Johnny would like to share this timely movie with our Sunday School class for our younger hipper readers in hopes they too won't become jackass teenage alcoholics and will just say no to AM radios in cars.

Ruh ro, the Southern Baptists think we're a godless lot and they are coming to save us

You see, the more traditional black Baptist churches aren't enough according to The Baptists' North American Mission Board. The NYC area needs some white Baptist churches and they are willing to spend some $20 million dollars to take over existing churches and spread that Book of Mormon kind of religiosity. What the Southern Baptist group is doing is called "church planting" and it is being done with a focus on the NYC Area because according to the NAMB the NYC area "needs your help."

Johnny's first impression would be to lead these same Southern Baptists back to their Bibles, more specifically this verse:

Beware! Those who attempt to Prosthelytize in my name, but will not do as I do, are not of Father God. As I said to them, "ye be witnesses unto yourselves, that ye are the children of them which killed the prophets" (Matt. 23:30).

But since when has the Bible ever stopped a Christian from prosthelytizing? Christians (and any member of any religion really) should spend more time listening to atheists on these matters. Johnny finds in many cases atheists know as much if not more about the religions they discuss than many of the believers do.

Happy Easter from all of us here at the Jersey City Desk

Now Johnny's just gotta find somewhere open this morning with some Easter bacon...

Remember, Jesus is the reason for the season

Or maybe his love is just a rental kind of thing...

Get your affairs in order mortals -- The world ends on May 21, 2011

Or so says one Edwin Ramos of Bridgeton. He is SO CERTAIN that some kind of religious mumbo jumbo will happen (You know, God descends from heaven with angels blowing horns and he decides who is good and bad and he awards the Stanley Cup for eternity to the Red Wings then the human purge is on) and that the world WILL begin to end on May 21, 2011.

Ramos has taken out three billboards claiming the Bible GUARANTEES that May 21, 2011 is the ziggy for mankind. Ramos apparently didn't care for John Cusack's acting as he has crossed out 2012 (You remember the Mayan calendar claims 2012 as the end of the world and Cusack starred in a movie about it) on his billboards and set the date to May 21st, 2011.

Now some, like Johnny, would simply call this crazy religious silliness. However, we think that silliness can best be defined by Ramos' own words:

Ramos added that there is a five-month judgment period after May 21, during which the world will slowly be destroyed, and after which God will form a new heaven and earth, placing the earth’s last day at Oct. 21, when he thinks it will be completely obliterated. What is he planning if he wakes up on Oct. 22?

“If the Bible declares it, which is God declaring it, then there are no more questions. It is not even something that I factor in. I believe the world will end on that day.”

Uh huh, OK then, big party at Johnny's next October 22nd because Johnny's calendar says October 22 WILL happen.

This needed adding: