If Johnny catches any of you at the Newark Airport's new CBGB's...

...That's a paddlin. One simply does not go into, patronize or buy anything from the CBGB's out at Newark Liberty International Aeropuerto (Sally Daft for the win!)....ever. Don't drop in and get Johnny a cute Ramones-themed gift. Does not want. What a hideous idea.

If you have business this afternoon at Newark airport or in Edison, leave yourself extra time to get around

The President of the United States will be arriving at Newark Liberty airport early this afternoon and then it's off to Edison for a meeting with local business leaders at a sammich shop. President Obama isn't expected to hang around the Garden State that long (the Secret Service told Johnny to stop calling for interviews) and should be back at Newark Liberty later this afternoon.

Obviously this means your commute times in these areas is gonna is going to grow. If you're headed to the airport or Edison today please plan ahead.

The United States of Panic

Look, Johnny doesn't fly so either you can call him a hypocrite or the fact he doesn't fly makes him the perfect arbiter on this topic.Newark's C Terminal was shut down for most of the day yesterday because one person somehow walked past someone he shouldn't have without being checked out or given the once over. This caused everyone in charge to lose their ever loving minds. Of course they didn't lose those minds until a full TWO HOURS later when that's was when they decided to empty the terminal and have a do over over access to the terminal, even those already on their planes.

It's simple people, put in subway type entrances and exists to make sure those who have passed the turnstiles have either cleared security or they haven't. Once you walk out of the turnstile you must then pass through security again. Also, flying public, get over your fear of these body scanners. So what, it's not really a privacy issue, your doctor takes your body x-rays and you don't complain then, get over yourselves and don't be prudes and maybe, just maybe things can start running a little smoother at the old aeropuerto.

Incidents like this make Johnny glad he doesn't fly

A flight at Newark airport was delayed this afternoon because a woman checked a Swiss army knife with a 1 1/2 inch blade and another knife with a 2 1/2 inch blade.

First, lady, do you have manure for your brains? Don't you realize how things work at the airport these days? We're SURE it was important you take those knives with you to Las Vegas. What, are you in Cirque du Soleil's new show there 'Le Stab'? Think McFly, think..

Second, we really need to get over this pants wetting over something so small. Yeah, Johnny knows where he lives now and knows what happened when box cutters made their way onboard some flights. It's still ridiculous the flight had to return to the gate and then have everyone de-planed and the aircraft swept. Can't we trust the staff to hold onto these items? Seriously, this psychobilly freak-out behavior by the TSA needs to stop. Practical thinking not panicked thinking will win the day.

We're also of the opinion that the next person jumping up with a Swiss army knife trying anything will be themselves attacked and have their own head lopped off by said knife by the other passengers anymore. It'd also probably be more entertaining than the in-flight movie.