Note to Johnny's family, friends, and hangers-on

New Year's Eve is supposed to be in the low teens with a wind chill at current projections.

Fuck that.

In that weather you are free to come visit and enjoy the holidays but Johnny nor Mrs. Johnny will be joining you in Times Square. Or outside. Or near a window.

That is all, continue your Netflixing.

Got $375 burning a hole in your pocket? Great you can afford the worst New Year's Eve ever!

Sorry for the late start today kids, try and take one Gmail account off the list of accounts that can post something here and you almost lose your entire site. Thanks Google.

OK, back to New Year's Eve. If you are lucky enough to have $375 in your pocket and still haven't made plans for New Year's Eve, how about taking all that hard earned do-re-mi to Applebee's in Times Square?

Yes, Applebee's.

What's that? $375 for Applebee's seem like a bit steep? Well friends Johnny has some sage advice; T.G.I Friday’s has a NYE package for $225. Ruby Tuesday's is throwing a party for $275 so there are options. Albeit bad ones.

OK, Johnny's being a snob (but if you're a regular you know the good food side of him comes to the fore sometimes). Here's Zane Tankel, owner of all 38 Applebee's in the New York City area:

“You wouldn’t know you were at an Applebee’s for that one night.”

Except for the decor and the giant Applebee's sign out front. 

Now the T.G.I. Friday's deal includes a ticket to an afterparty at the BB King Blues Club so they're at least trying harder. However at Ruby Tuesday's you don't even get a dinner. Just stacks of snacks. Look we're sure the people who work at these restaurants are going to work really hard at making it not look like where you're at. They'll try extra hard to help you have a good time. But you and a date dropping at least $500 on tickets to a chain restaurant with all the charms of Times Square without a view of the ball dropping and in one place no dinner well, um, really? 

Psssst. You want to spend that money in Jersey City. Yes you do. If you have that same $500 you can eat like a Joffrey and drink like Dean Martin. There are some great places after a great meal to sing and dance and make Merry (if your gal's name is Merry) right here in Cool City. Don't make a tradition out of partying in Jersey City because Johnny says so. Do it because goodness gracious there's a lot of great fun to be had in JC. Explore your city on New Year's Eve. Walk around downtown. You can even kiss your sweetie looking at the light glare from Times Square down on the riverfront. 

Let's make this New Year's Eve a celebration of Jersey City, kind of a big "shop local" but for a New Year's Eve to remember. And then let's do it next year and the year after. Unless of course you really like Cowboy Burgers.

Like one Jersey Journal commenter at the link above said about this idea: "I'd rather spend $375 at White Castle than Applebee's." Jersey City has one friend, 2995 John F Kennedy Blvd. at the corner of Newark Ave. Mmmmm onion chips.

Did you know Times Square has an unofficial mayor?

Let's meet him shall we? Here's a really nice video story on William "Pee Wee" Scheidt who is known as the unofficial mayor of Times Square. He's an unapologetic Yankees fan and it would sound like he likes breaking tourists balls over things. Filmmaker Jeff Seal followed the mayor around for a day and if you follow this link you can find what he found, a spritely senior enjoying his city.

If you are going to be near Times Square Saturday or Sunday...

...they are filming a movie scene. The explosions, smoke, and kabooms you hear are planned. Don't call 911. Don't freak out. Don't panic others.

Do get out your cell phone and take a video for your Facebook page or something for Vine and grab a snack.

Yes, it's Easter weekend, which is also gang initiation weekend

And if we remember about a year ago the New York Auto Show was overrun with wannabe gang members who then ran amok through Times Square assaulting, stabbing, and harassing the general public. Of course this goes back as far as 2006 when over 200 gang losers hit Times Square and stabbed three people. The NYPD says this is their top priority this weekend, protecting the auto show, Times Square and no doubt the subways. 

Of course the intelligence-addled gang members are at least smart enough to know police are looking for them this year so where might this stupidity turn up? Another borough? A specific spot in the city? Here's giving the NYPD a one evening pass on brutality claims that concern gang-related activities.

Is Jersey City on alert? Mayor Healy? Chief Comey? This should not happen in Jersey City. We have the resources, make sure this crap never happens here.

Happy 1966!!

The Jersey City Desk has learned....

That thousands, tens if not hundreds of thousands of #OWS aka Occupy Wall St. protestors will gather tomorrow night in Times Square to make their point by ringing in the new year at midnight under the ball. No word from the Office of Whitewash over at City Hall but no doubt this news will have angered Mayor Bloomberg when it reaches his billion dollar desk. Be prepared to have to celebrate 2012 among pepper-sprayed residents and visitors, and truncheoned bystanders.

Arrive early, and bring your gas mask as Times Square on New Years Eve is fun for the whole family...

Failed Times Square bomber gets our first Red Forman 'Dumbass' award

Faisal Shahzad, you failed. You will forever live your life knowing you had once chance to kill Americans and yet you failed, miserably. You set up an SUV in Times Square to blow up with ammonium nitrate and diesel fuel, three 25-pound propane tanks and two five-gallon gasoline canisters. If you were smarter and not such a failure and could read instructions right you might have pleased your evil masters.

But you're not, you're a failure AND a dumbass.

You'll get your mandatory life sentence in a Manhattan federal court today, sending you off to prison without your 72 virgins, without your river of honey and without your 4 whole fried chickens and a Coke.

Faulty wiring? Dumbass. Low grade fertilizer? Dumbass.

Some evil jagoff will no doubt succeed one day in blowing up a car in NYC, it's a reality we all live with these days. But it won't be because of Faisal Shahzad, because much like the guys who can't light their shoes on fire or those who can't explode chemicals in their underpants he's a failure.

Oh yeah, and a dumbass.

So, ah, going forward you might just wanna stay out of Times Square on Easter night

NYC police arrested 33 people while four were shot in Times Square on Sunday night in what Mayor Michael Bloomberg referred to as 'wilding' (And who said he wasn't paying attention to the 80's?). Witnesses said “They were fighting up and down the street. All you saw were kids running.” Onlookers said hundreds of youths, some thought to be gang members (but only two of the arrestees were in the gang database) were fighting all over the Square.

Police said this trend of 'wilding' was first noticed in 2003 when they thought it to be an offshoot of, are you ready for this, the New York Auto Show. As you know auto show attendees are known to do violent things and carry weapons; "Did you see that sweet Cadillac Converj concept? Ima have to bust a cap in somebody's ass I'm so excited but I'll wait until I get to Times Square to do it." Uh huh. To quote Marge Gunderson in Fargo "I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou".

Leave it to local business owners to lend some reality to the situation. They think these yearly Easter night 'wilding' situations are nothing more than a gang initiation night. They told reporters and police there were a lot of kids wearing the red and blue so often associated with the Bloods and Crips (and some trivia here--the Crips got their name as before they became a violent menace, gang members would walk around Los Angeles with walking sticks or canes ala Mr. Peanut, the name became a play on the word cripple). Just because only two that were arrested were in the gang member database doesn't mean the local shopkeepers aren't right. Gang members are rather good at evading police.

Nobody has been charged with any of the shootings at JCD press time.

So, where ya headed tomorrow night? Dinner? Are you going to see the ball drop?

Johnny's got some out of towners in from Michigan and so that means a nice dinner (a fun one for sure at DBGB's) and then Johnny's gonna head up towards Times Square to get a few snapshots of the party crowd. It's doubtful he's gonna stand in one place with no food or bathrooms for 4-5 hours. SO not happening.

So what are YOUR plans?

"Times Square is closed, Moose out front should have told you"

Well, ok, parts of Times Square are closing to build a pedestrian mall which we here at the Jersey City Desk are going to call the 'Johnny Action Space Punk Pedestrian Mall and Food Court."

No, really, they are closing Broadway to cars n trucks for five whole blocks Sunday night which they then intend to turn into a pedestrian mall where folks can sit outside and have a coffee from Starbucks® and maybe a sammich from Subway® or McDonalds® and pretend while scarfing down corporate American garbage they are somehow feeling all European.

Broadway is getting another makeover a little further down between 33rd to 35th streets by Herald Square, you know the Macys intersection, where yet another pedestrian mall is being put in. The 33rd-35th one will no doubt instantly become overrun with fake watch and fake handbag vendors as in the shadow of the Empire State Building, fake goods rule the day, and the street corners.

Now, both of these malls are a temporary plan, being tried out until the end of the year. We'll see how it goes but if they're not willing to change the name to Johnny's choice, there is no way we could ever support this kind of traffic clogging plan full time.

To get a look at the conception of the plans you can click these handy dandy links:
Times Square
Herald Square

For those of you tuning in from outside the Jersey City/NYC area...

And those who might wonder what the weather is for those crazy kids in Times Square tonight, here's the lowdown:

Tonight
Mostly cloudy with a chance of snow early this evening...then clearing. Areas of blowing snow. Windy with lows around 15. Northwest winds 25 to 35 mph. Gusts up to 60 mph...decreasing to 40 mph after midnight. Wind chill values as low as 2 below. Chance of snow 50 percent.

Yeah, it's wicked cold for all those folks. You can keep an eye on them HERE via a Times Square webcam (after a 10 second ad you can let the cam load up and push play, Cam 1 will show many views). Keep an eye on the flags and light standards and see how windy 60 mph is.