It's a national holiday in the US and Canada!

Or rather, it should be.

The NHL playoffs begin today (Hey Jeff Vanderbeek, enjoy them on teevee, you have nobody to blame but yourself) and so many first round series' have intrigue and involve long-time rivals.

Johnny's first round picks you ask?

Chicago over Minnesota in 4 because it can't be 3.

Detroit over Anaheim in 6 or 7. These teams meet like clockwork in the playoffs don't they?

San Jose over Vancouver. It's the playoffs and like always the Canucks are a mess. Sharks in 6.

It'd be great if St. Louis won. Johnny would like to see the Blues win a cup one day. But the Kings have had the Blues number. Kings in 7
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Pittsburgh over the overmatched Islanders in 4. Unless Darius Kasparaitis and David Volek plan on suiting up.

Boston over Toronto in 5. Toronto would have been better off playing Montreal but Ottawa ganked that up.

Capitals and Rangers. Hmmmmm, for five minutes Johnny think the Caps will win and for the next five he thinks it'll be the Rangers. Just flipped a coin. Rangers in 7.

Montreal and Ottawa. And CBC will STILL show the Leafs. Montreal in 6.

So dear readers, who ya got?!

It would be legally, morally and ethically wrong to toss Gary Bettman off the Chrysler Building...

...but if someone decides to do it can you film it so the rest of the REAL hockey lovers can enjoy it many many times? Devils fans, your organization is complicit in this coming rant, you know Johnny loves you but, well, facts are facts.

Gary Bettman (hereafter to be known in this rant as "Commissioner Jackhole") has shut down the NHL again for a few of his owner friends. Not ALL owners mind you, no, just these captains of industry who demand to own a team in a SOCIALIST system. Set salary caps, tax the workers more every time to put money in the state's hands. When you want to extract more money just shut down the plant. Yes many of Commissioner Jackhole's "southern strategy" teams aren't doing so well. All that buy in cash in the form of franchise fees is long gone, those teams never could support themselves and it kicks off this spiral of lockout after lockout after lockout (3 on Mr. Jackhole's watch as the NHL's fearless leader).

Like we said, not all owners are with the Commissioner on this. They have successful teams built the right way. Unlike say, mmmm, The Minnesota Wild. A team that just busted the bank for two all-star players KNOWING they were in mere months going to look to Gary Bettman and say "Cut their piece of the pie, it's killing my bottom line. I just can't do business like this."

In other words it's not "don't stop me before I spend again" but "please protect me when I do."

If I were a Devils fan I'd be very worried right now. They are ready-built hockey "markets" out there like Kansas City, Portland/Seattle (because Vancouver needs a playmate) and some say they might put a professional team in Columbus one day. Honey Badger Gary doesn't give a shit as long as there might be a couple more franchise fees to gnaw on.

Something else Commissioner Jackhole won't discuss that much folks, revenue sharing. These failing franchises are being wheezed back to life yearly by the revenue sharing wherein teams like the Rangers, Red Wings, Canadiens, Flyers and a few others pay millions to prop up Nashville, Carolina, Florida, the artists formerly known as the Thrashers, Phoenix and a handful of others (Yes Devils this is where you fit in). More socialism from the lower end owners again. See if this is how business works; The Canadiens pay X millions in revenue sharing and money from that pot goes to say Nashville so Nashville has money to bid against the Canadiens for free agents and such. And as long as this kind of untoward thing goes on should these poorer market owners be able to shake down the players for more money after the players caved 7 years ago to the owners demand of a salary cap? These owners signed that deal.

Commissioner Jackhole you come off as a miserable little petty man in all this. A sniveling huckster who happens to have a trump card. You sneer from behind your office windows at hockey fans you spew platitudes at. You don't know how hockey fans feel because you're not one. You had never attended an NHL game before you became commissioner, you said it yourself.

Johnny's going to give the last words on this to Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun:

Almost every time Gary Bettman opens his mouth, I have this tendency to want to slam my fist right into it.

And I’m not, in any way, what you’d call a violent person.

It’s his way, his voice, his condescension, his verbal cadence, his don’t-you-understand-I’m-the-smartest-man-in-the-room vibe that makes him so impossible to believe or trust.

So here we are again, held hostage by the NHL boss for the third time — a distinguished record of most work stoppages by one commissioner — with an absolutely unnecessary lockout, his league with record revenues, the players with record high salaries, fighting over increments and percentages. And this time, without a need to change the game, without a philosophical argument, with Bob Goodenow long gone, there is no one to truly detest from the players’ side.

It's Hockey Afternoon in Newark®

Hockey Night in Canada comes later tonight. The Devils skate with the fly-by-night organization known as the Montreal Canadiens with the puck dropping at 1 pm at The Rock. It's a perfect day, afternoon hockey, maybe some drinks and grub in The Ironbound and back home in time for the 7 pm games. It's a little chilly but that's hockey weather bunky.

Les Habitants come in reeling losing 6 of 7 games. This is one of those games that the Devils are going to have pick up valuable points now so they don't have to go on a tear to try and make the playoffs like last year. Montreal has no powerplay to speak of which is why they traded for defenseman Tomas Kaberle. Kaberle may make his Montreal debut this afternoon after being traded by the Carolina Hurricanes. Who knew guys could play worse if they left Toronto? Kaberle is answering that rhetorical question this season.

Get on out to The Rock and have some funz. Bring your cameras to take a picture of Zach Parise so you can fondly recall his time in a Devils sweater.

Getting booed by the hometown crowd two games before the playoffs start isn't where the Devils wanna be

The Devils played an absolutely lackluster, dull, and plodding game last night vs the Toronto Maple Loafs, er Johnny means the Toronto Maple Laffs, wait, the Toronto Maple Leafs at the Rock and lost 4-1.

The Devils and all-world netminder Martin Brodeur had better begin figuring things out and FAST. This late season tailspin has cost New Jersey's own the #2 seed in the playoffs to Washington. The difference? Well that would mean playing a hot Penguins team in the first round vs a floundering Montreal club.

The problem now facing the Devils is do you really want to rest a few players a game or two in the two remaining regular season games. No doubt they want to head into the playoffs clicking on at least MOST cylinders but by the same token one would think a night off before the end could benefits one or two Devils veterans. Johnny feels it's now more imperative to get some type of cohesive game working then it is to rest players, bumps and bruises be damned.

This is one bad skid heading into the Stanley Cup playoffs.

Big New York Rangers doings tonight at the M to the S to the G

Legendary New York Ranger players Harry Howell and Andy Bathgate will have their numbers hoisted to the rafters tonight at MSG with a ceremony beginning at 6:30 pm before the Rangers play Original Six brethren the Toronto Maple Leafs. Howell's number 3 will be raised as will Bathgate's number 9 (which he will forever share with Adam Graves who's own number 9 was retired almost three weeks back). With number 3 heading up to the rafters it means current number 3, Rags defenseman Michal Rozsival will have to unveil a new number before stepping onto the ice tonight vs the Maple Loafs.

More on this story and these great NHL legends can be found here.