The smoking age in NYC is going up to 21 and a quote for the ages

Johnny's gonna shred a guy in a couple minutes so get a cup of coffee and get comfy.

According to a study there are 20,000 New York City high school kids who smoke. Beyond the whole "Let's find out why they started," Johnny asks what can we do right now to make them stop? As a society we have to look out for the younger minds. As someone one said cigarettes are the only product on the market that if used as directed results in death. There are 20,000 kids in NYC shortening their lives. It would be absurd not to do something and the most immediate of these actions was taken by Mayor-for-now-Bloomberg who upped the age for buying ciggybutts (and e-cigs) from 18-21. This goes into effect in 180 days.

ROOOOOAAAARRRR, GRUFF, GRUMBLE, said Jim Calvin, president of the New York Association of Convenience Stores: "What are you really accomplishing? It's not like they are going to quit smoking." ROOOOOAAAARRRR, GRUFF, GRUMBLE went Calvin some more: "...there are so many other places they can buy cigarettes." Then comes the money shot of quotes in the history of quotes:

"Every 18-year-old who walks out of a convenience store is just going to go to the guy in the white van on the corner."

OK, where to start. Mayor Bloomberg, Council president Quinn, incoming Mayor de Blasio PLEASE do something about the scourge of white vans on corners. You'll know them because they will all be near street corners within a couple blocks of convenience stores. They may have names like "Plumbing" or "Flower Delivery" or "Ambulance" on them but ha ha copper the jokes on you. These are fronts for selling cigarettes to high school kids. Send SWAT teams after them would be our advice. Next up Jim, why does it have to be a guy who drives the van? Aren't you down with women's lib? Why couldn't an enterprising young lady make money in a white van on the corner near a bodega? Why do you pigeonhole women Mr. Calvin? Finally Jim, where Johnny grew up (and he's guessing everywhere else) the guy in the white van wasn't selling cigarettes, no, he had other things in that van other than a couple cartons Winstons. Rope, duct tape, a few bottles of Boone's Farm, these sorts of knick-knacks.

Lastly, if you look at Calvin's quote what it's really saying is we don't give a shit if these kids develop complications from smoking because as long as they are coming in to buy cigarettes they'll also buy a Mountain Dew and a snack and that's where our profit margin comes in. Screw NYC if they're gonna cost us money, kids be damned.

No, screw the New York Association of Convenience Stores.

Good news for our friends across the river

New York City is on pace to have the lowest number of murders in 60 years! That's good news.

Now comes the consternation over just WHY the murders are down. Police Commissioner Ray Kelly credits the NYPD’s focus on youth gangs and domestic violence, along with "hot-spot policing" and an expanding use of electronic data to identify crime trends.

OK, yes that probably helps. Now comes the consternation part and the egg on the face of Mayor Bloomberg and Commissioner Kelly:

As of August this year, the NYPD conducted 53 percent fewer street stop-and-frisks—58,088, to be exact— than it did in the same period last year.

Let the debates begin, luckily there will be more live people to have this discussion.

BREAKING: Mayor Mike and Top Cop Ray just got the oversight they didn't want -- Stop and Frisk ruled unconstitutional

And city council had nothing to do with it. Sure to set off a fresh batch of whining from Mayor Bloomberg and Ray Kelly, Federal Judge Shira Scheindlin of Manhattan federal court said the program  violates constitutional protections for minorities and has ordered an independent monitor to oversee Stop and Frisk. Four men brought suit against the NYPD and Scheindlin ruled that their Fourth and 14th Amendment rights had been violated. The Fourth protects against unreasonable searches, and the 14th protects civil rights.

Bloomie is no doubt apoplectic over his eggs this morning.

This is a breaking news story so check back for all the snark.

Let the root beer and Sprite flow freely again in the streets of New York City!

New York City's long nightmare of not being able to get enough cola-in-a-cup is over. A New York appeals court has upheld a ruling striking down New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's latest nanny-gram. You fat kids, this is like your Independence Day. You can go suck down an 80 ounce Diet Coke (the irony, it burns) to help keep that weight down. Everyone who attacked the ban is hereby ordered to their local 7-11 and get your brain-freeze on with a 75 ounce frozen Mr. Pibb in celebration.

You, citizen, walk right into your local participating bodega in New York City and proclaim "I live in NYC and I want the full Cornholio!"

Because AMERICA!

Mayor Bloomberg vetoes the Community Safety Act

Yesterday while everyone was looking at Anthony Wiener's junk online, the actual Mayor vetoed the Community Safety Act which gives citizens more input in policing and appoints an Inspector General to oversee the, in our opinion, out of control NYC police. When someone who is paying out millions and millions in lawsuits for a wide-ranging array of cop offenses tells you they need no oversight, yeah, they need oversight.

The city council is expected to override Bloomberg's temper tantrum but that doesn't mean the mayor won't try to get back at those who voted for the Community Safety Act to begin with.

Jesus Bloomberg can be an idiot. Is it November yet?

Former NYC Mayor the honorable Ed Koch has passed away

Now Johnny wasn't living in NYC during the 1978-1989 era of Koch. He wished he did when the punk scene broke out but alas, Johnny had parents who said he wasn't go to live in NYC at the age of 16 on his own but we digress. Koch was a three term mayor who led the city out of bankruptcy and into a more modern era or restored housing, a tremendous burgeoning art scene throughout the 80's and all with a smile and a "How'm I doin'?" for voters. Koch was one of if not the first mayors to draw on an entirely new way of getting elected mayor of NYC by moving to the center.

Rest in peace Mr. Koch. Maybe one day Mayor Bloomberg will get his wish and the Queensboro Bridge will one day bear your name. Koch was 88.

A great article about the fact Mayor Mike feels police oversight would bring about the end of NYC

Gothamist shared a wonderful article this morning about the fact Michael Bloomberg thinks a police oversight committee or an Inspector General would lead to the Mad Max-ing of NYC. Forget for a moment the FBI has such a position, the CIA has such a position but for whatever reason Mayor Mike thinks NYC would fall into disrepair. A great read this morning over coffee...

It is as official as official can be -- NYC has chosen the cab of the future and boy is it lacking

For whatever reason Mayor Bloomberg and the NY TLC have decided that the taxi of tomorrow is the Nissan NV200 no matter that it looks like the awkward minivan of yesterday. We still do not know why NYC decided that the Nissan was the answer (Not handicap accessible) when there was a better choice available from Ford. So thanks to Mayor Mike and the TLC for turning their backs on a US automaker (The Nissan dumpmobile will be built in Cuernavaca, Mexico). The new Nissan "taxis" will be required to replace all retiring taxis as of late 2013.

So what about it Mayor Bloomberg, how is it possible that you are most likely violating the Americans with Disabilities Act by not requiring ANY of these new taxis be handicap accessible? ONE percent of NYC taxis are wheelchair accessible. ONE percent. Mayor, have you ever had to hail a wheelchair accessible cab? Try it. They don't run window A/C units out to keep them cool like you get.

The city sure blew this one, and one wonders about just how this too good to be true for Nissan deal came into being. We wonder what came of Marty Markowitz and Bill de Blasio asking Comptroller John Liu to investigate the whole bidding process. That'd be a great question for John Liu as he runs for mayor.

From time to time we've had our issues with Mayor Mike

As our readers know we don't always like the way Michael Bloomberg runs his fine city. We've disagreed with him on several topics but his statements on gun control are right one and you better believe it is a discussion this nation is long overdue for. Now, our own Mayor Healy is also on Bloomberg's side in this it should be noted. In fact Healy was one of the first mayors to try and put serious laws in place to cut down on senseless and stupid gun violence as we witnessed in Aurora Colorado.

The NRA is counting on everyone forgetting about the movie shootings very soon. The current President, Barack Obama has relaxed more gun laws that George W. Bush did. So when it comes to having a national discussion it is very important people like Healy and Bloomberg speak out. Johnny is of the mind that AK-47 rifles or other assault weapons should never be in the hands of regular citizens. In his opinion neither should handguns. We're all for deer rifles and shotguns and hunting weapons but automatic weapons and handguns? America could do without these guns and never really miss them.

We applaud the Mayors across the river in their stance on this matter.

Oh those wacky people from Tennessee

Upset one of his own citizens wasn't somehow smart enough to check beforehand what New York City's gun laws were (ie see Burress, Plaxico) before bringing a weapon to the World Trade Center memorial, a Tennessee state representative is issuing thinly-veiled threats to New York drivers who may be driving through the Volunteer State. Representative Frank Niceley said in a self-described "tongue-in-cheek" statement that "Be it further resolved that we remind the citizens of New York, especially those residing in New York City, to drive carefully through the great State of Tennessee, paying extra attention to our speed limits."

Thanks Frank, we'll be suuuuuure to note that. Mayor Bloomberg's spokesmodels sure did: "We agree, everyone should use common sense—which is what prosecutors in New York do," Bloomberg spokesman Marc LaVorgna responded. "Common sense also includes checking gun laws before traveling—something even the NRA tells people to do."

Burrrrrrrrrrn.

Since Mr. Nicely is such a fan of tongue-in-cheek proclamations we have a few of our own for the good people of Tennessee when it comes to dealing with New Jersey and New York:

1) Be it resolved that no moonshine may be brought into New Jersey or New York.
2) Be it resolved that no citizen of Tennessee married to a relative shall have their marriage recognized by the states of New Jersey or New York.
3) Be it resolved no more elephants be hung in Tennessee. Yes, we said no more elephants being hung.
4) Be it resolved that the Nashville Predators win a division title once in their franchise lifetime before they have been in the league 20 years.
5) Be it resolved that Tennessee drop Dolly Parton as their state bird.

There you have it Mr. Nicely, you pass these along to your constituents as they enter the Cracker Barrel...

Is Fresh Direct looking to deliver a new HQ to Jersey City?

Grocery delivery's big name, Fresh Direct is perhaps looking to see if the west side of the Hudson River holds more expansion promise than Long Island City, Queens. Fresh Direct applied for, and got, assistance in November as a part of the Urban Transit Hub tax credit program. Jersey City is offering up $100 million dollars in tax breaks as well should Fresh Direct look to relocate. Jersey City spokesperson Jennifer Morrill said "If the company moves here, it would bring new tax dollars to the city as well 1,500 jobs to Jersey City, with the expectation of eventually adding two to three thousand additional jobs."

So, the whining in New York City Hall has begun, with Mayor Michael Bloomberg sniveling (all that guy does anymore is whine) about New Jersey trying to lure Fresh Direct; "I don't like the idea of one state bribing a business to come." We're certain that there are no tax benefits being offered by Mr. Bloomberg over at the Atlantic Yards where the New Jersey Nets are set to be, well, lured over the Brooklyn to play basketball. Cuts both ways doesn't it Bloomie?

The new HQ, should one be built is proposed to be out where the Goya Foods is planning their new HQ on County Road.

What's that they say about payback Mayor Bloomberg?

When the #OWS gets out of hand or turns violent ask Mayor Mike why -- UPDATED

Look, we all know Mayor Bloomberg can't get enough of giving his Wall St. buddies handjobs, but now Bloomie thinks he knows the United States Constitution better than most legal scholars. Mayor Mike seems to be confused about the GUARANTEE of PEACEABLE redress of grievances. Of course this only matters to Bloomberg when his poor poor put upon Wall St. acolytes are crashing the economy and blaming teachers. Only then should we worry about rights -- rights for Wall St.

Well Mayor, it has come to this. You have badmouthed the people exercising their RIGHTS. You have turned to police on them to stifle free speech. When people have no outlets left to protest Mike guess what they do? And you'll be to blame for it when it does happen.

Shame on you. Shame.

Here's one of your boys now, he's the new face of YOUR police Department.

UPDATE -- Mayor Bloomberg's incredible comment this morning on this "No right is absolute." Um YES it is jackass it's WHY they call them RIGHTS. Oh and Bloomie, you just got slapped down by a New York City judge: "The order by Justice Lucy Billings set a hearing date for Tuesday at 11:30 a.m. and said that until the matter was considered at that hearing, the city and Brookfield Properties, the owners of Zuccotti Park, would be prohibited from evicting protesters or "enforcing 'rules' published after the occupation began or otherwise preventing protesters from re-entering the park with tents and other property previously utilized."

Somebody go ask Mayor Mike which way the wind is blowing today

Because it seems the Mayor of New York City sure changes his mind along with the breeze. When the supposed hotel rape of hotel cleaning employee was still in the early hours and Dominique Strauss-Kahn was required to do a 'perp walk' in handcuffs and in front of cameras as is the American way (no so much in Europe), Bloomberg had this to say:

"I think it is humiliating, but you know if you don’t want to do the perp walk, don’t do the crime... I don’t have a lot of sympathy for that. Our judicial system works where the public can see the alleged perpetrators."

Now that the case has pretty much fallen apart on what may well be lies told by the woman who worked in the hotel suddenly, the breeze and Mayor Mike's mind seem to have changed:

"We've done perp walks for the benefit of newspapers and television for a long time... I've always thought the perp walks were outrageous. That's only my view. Nobody's asked me and I have no say in it..."

The weather forecast for City Hall in New York is for swirling changing winds that may not be the same in 15 minutes as they are now depending upon how the real world plays out.

Mayor Bloomberg, please allow Johnny to speak for ALL the Irish in the tri-state...

We know you were trying to make a joke when you said about the American Irish Historical Society on 5th Avenue:

The mayor, who lives in the neighborhood, said that when he walked by the stone-and-brick building on St. Patrick’s Day, “there are a bunch of people that are totally inebriated hanging out the window, waving.”

“I know that’s a stereotype of the Irish,” he added to a smattering of groans and laughs, “but nevertheless we Jews from around the corner think it.”

Look, Mayor Mike, a joke should be FUNNY. That wasn't clever. Wanna know a clever Irish joke? What's green and has an IQ of 97? Answer -- A St. Patrick's Day Parade. See THAT is how it's done. Really, it's not that big of a deal nor that big of an insult.




HOWEVER

Since we think you'd be a great candidate to make sure this kind of anti-Irish sentiment doesn't take hold somewhere, you are hereby sentenced to work cleanup detail in Hoboken after their St. Patrick's Day celebrations come to an end sometime in April. Contact Dawn Zimmer, she's the mayor there. The one who doesn't take FBI kickback money.

Your significant other might not have been drinking, they might really have seen the Queen of England

If you husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend burst through the door tonight with some wild-eyed tale about seeing the Queen of England around the city or later this afternoon at Ground Zero, they didn't drink their lunch, she really is in Gotham today.

Queen Elizabeth will indeed be touring NYC today and late this afternoon she'll be greeted by NY Governor David Paterson, our own Governor Chris Christie (Swear to god do not embarrass us) and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg at Ground Zero. The Queen is expected to lay a wreath there and spend a few minutes reflecting on the loss of 67 British citizens on 9/11.

Maybe while she's there Mayor Bloomberg can tell her how he's been acting as a shill for the Trade Center site owner and that he's as much to blame for the giant hole still there as anyone.

Mayor Bloomberg is over in Merry olde England to get a look at how a surveillance society is run

Because apparently Mr. Bloomberg seems to think such a society is how he may want to run New York City. Cameras on every corner, people living in "freedom" under constant surveillance. Seems to be Mayor Mike's new mantra after the failed junior varsity car bomb failed to go off last weekend. Johnny walked right down Broadway last night on his way to Promises Promises and there were police cars in and around Times Square everywhere. Police standing around keeping a watchful eye everywhere. How much safer can you make it?

Newsflash to Mayor Bloomberg, these new cameras you'll soon be wanting to install everywhere (and will cost millions) are not going to stop ONE SINGLE ACT OF TERROR. Got that? Anybody willing to blow themselves up, anybody willing to drive a bomb laden car into a group of people, anyone willing to set one of these devices off cannot be stopped by camera. They can be stopped by wary citizens and police trained in what to look for. Cameras will do diddley-poo to STOP a terror attack. All the cameras will do is give CNN and MSNBC some excellent video of the actual attack to run every 5 minutes until people in Nebraska are ready to either pee their collective pants or surrender.

Better police training, possible barricades set up blocks from where a car could access say the New Year's Eve celebration and continued public vigilance will help stop acts of terror. Hell this last car bomb that never went off was discovered by a local citizen (A Muslim we might add) who pointed it out to police. There were cameras everywhere that car was left. Didn't stop shit-for-brains Faisal Shahzad from leaving it now did it?

Everytime the powers that be want to take away freedoms, citizens should get the pitchforks and torches and show the powers that be what terror really looks like.

Quite a few New York City taxi drivers have been taking us for a ride....monetarily

The town with all the big buildings, subways stops and great food has an issue they're probably not crazy about people like us telling you, the NYC taxi pool has been overcharging passengers by $8.3 million over the past two years by setting their meters at a rate that was supposed to be used for trips to the suburbs.

Isn't that kind of them? We're sure none of these cabbies ever told riders they were setting the fare at the higher rate which makes this an el grande ripoff. According to our good friends at the Associated Press:

The city has about 48,300 licensed cabbies, and data shows that 35,558 have illegally charged a rider at least once, the city said.

Super, that's soooo very nice of these slimy bastards. The city has taken one step to rectify this problem and it seems like a good one, now when you get in the NYC taxi and the Taxi TV comes on in the back it will alert passengers; In a few weeks, taxi riders will see an alert on the television screen in the back seat when the higher rate code has been activated.

Mayor Bloomberg is promising hefty fines and other penalties for the over 35,558 offending drivers who pulled this scam. The average overcharge to passengers was $4.45 per trip.