New York City is still obsessed with the fact New Jersey makes it smell better

Again New York City stands amazed and in awe that the syrupy-sweet smell coming from a North Bergen food additive factory could make the Big Appletini smell like something other than a public urinal. Mayor for life if he has his way Michael Bloomberg yesterday felt the need to hold a press conference on this pressing matter. Newspapers and rags like the New York Post wrote articles on the smell wafting into The Big Stink.

Again, New York, you're WELCOME. We realize that urine and trash smell is something you're used to and probably have grown to like. We're sorry is the sweet syrup smell upsets you, but really, consider it a free upgrade.

Crime in Jersey City is not funny, however this quote was

A local citizens group is up in arms over the blatant and increasing crime in their area. We understand and hope all the police and civic leaders who say they'll address their concerns aren't simply paying lip service. Lafayette area residents have a real problem and it's gotten so bad, to keep hoods, thugs, and idiots from loitering on her porch a local resident has taken to pouring syrup on said porch. Clever, but when it gets to that point, local officials who said they'd do something, namely state Sen. Sandra B. Cunningham, Ward F Councilwoman Viola Richardson, Freeholder Jeffrey Dublin and Jersey City Police Chief Tom Comey had better do something.

Oh, yes, now to the quote that struck us as funny:

"I can't have people shooting each other and then the bodies laying in our parking lot," said Rosalyn Browne, who owns the funeral home outside of which the Jan. 3 shooting took place.

You'd think it'd help business....

New Yorkers apparently call to complain about a better smelling city

Over 30 callers to NYC's 311 info line called to complain about a sweet smell that was drifting from the Upper West Side, across Central Park and into the Upper East Side. One person called from Queens. New Yorkers described the smell as a mixture of hazelnut and pancake syrup.

This very smell was reported in 2005 and NYC officials 'blamed' it on a possible smell wafting in from a New Jersey food processing plant.

Making New York City smell like syrup and hazelnut? Instead of complaining they should be thanking the Garden State.