An outbreak of hippies sleeping in trees has afflicted Central Park

While hippies don't carry Dutch Elm disease (or do they?) hippies have been infecting elm trees in Central Park at night. Two twin brothers have been climbing 50 feet high with hammocks to tie off in the branches and sleeping in the canopy since September. Cory and Dana Foht who hail from Florida have been sleeping like ninjas, listening in on conversations below them, hidden from park police who comb the park each night looking for sleepers, and thus far safe from giant killer raccoons that hunt Central Park at night.

The New York Times will take it from here but if you see hippies sleeping in trees in Jersey City at night, you call the authorities or pretty soon your neighborhood will smell like patchouli and used hacky sacks will start plugging up the sewers.