Monday, June 28, 2010

Swear to god, Johnny will do a BYOS

Bring Your Own Shell, he'll buy one and bring it. If he wins the bid down in Camden on the 4th of July he'd get to fire the 5 inch gun on the mighty S.S. New Jersey, a battleship that has served America well from World War II through the Persian Gulf War. You end the fireworks show by firing a BLANK in a 5 inch gun. This gun can kill things up to 10 miles around in any direction, where's the fun and adventure in using a dud?

CEO Jim Schuck: “...But not to fear, we are only shooting blanks! But they are loud and make a great flash!”

Yeah, nuh-uh, if Johnny's in for at lest $500 clams he's gonna invest in some really worth winning, a great fireworks show and a puncher's chance at getting his range right to fire a 5 inch shell into downtown Philadelphia.

Speaking of Philadelphia, as we get through summer and into fall around here the Jersey City Desk is going to take up a collection where you and Johnny can put up some money to buy toys for hundreds of kids in Philadelphia. We're going to give them a very happy Christmas. Gee Johnny, why wouldn't you take up a collection for the kids right here in Jersey City? Well citizen, Johnny is hoping we can get at least 1000 vuvuzelas in the hands of Philadelphia youth so before long they ALL have to have them.

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