The Jersey City Desk space news satellite is down due to a huge solar flare

And by big solar flare we mean the size of Jupiter. We know, it's all in jest but your electronic devices ie your phones, both cell and landlines, TV satellites and anything else electrical is in for a real big sunburn. It is affecting China as we report this. Now if it stayed in China Johnny'd be OK with that. Damned Earth and it's stupid rotation.

The interruptions should begin at any min