Saturday, January 21, 2012

Oh those wacky people from Tennessee

Upset one of his own citizens wasn't somehow smart enough to check beforehand what New York City's gun laws were (ie see Burress, Plaxico) before bringing a weapon to the World Trade Center memorial, a Tennessee state representative is issuing thinly-veiled threats to New York drivers who may be driving through the Volunteer State. Representative Frank Niceley said in a self-described "tongue-in-cheek" statement that "Be it further resolved that we remind the citizens of New York, especially those residing in New York City, to drive carefully through the great State of Tennessee, paying extra attention to our speed limits."

Thanks Frank, we'll be suuuuuure to note that. Mayor Bloomberg's spokesmodels sure did: "We agree, everyone should use common sense—which is what prosecutors in New York do," Bloomberg spokesman Marc LaVorgna responded. "Common sense also includes checking gun laws before traveling—something even the NRA tells people to do."

Burrrrrrrrrrn.

Since Mr. Nicely is such a fan of tongue-in-cheek proclamations we have a few of our own for the good people of Tennessee when it comes to dealing with New Jersey and New York:

1) Be it resolved that no moonshine may be brought into New Jersey or New York.
2) Be it resolved that no citizen of Tennessee married to a relative shall have their marriage recognized by the states of New Jersey or New York.
3) Be it resolved no more elephants be hung in Tennessee. Yes, we said no more elephants being hung.
4) Be it resolved that the Nashville Predators win a division title once in their franchise lifetime before they have been in the league 20 years.
5) Be it resolved that Tennessee drop Dolly Parton as their state bird.

There you have it Mr. Nicely, you pass these along to your constituents as they enter the Cracker Barrel...

2 comments:

TrixieJuniorSpacePunk said...

I like it. Snark with a snark chaser.

Johnny Action Space Punk said...

And snark fries covered in snark country gravy