"Officer, they're looting the Food King..."

And here in Jersey City they're tearing apart the famous Colgate Clock. Outrage! Anger! Upsettedness! That is until you realize it's being taken apart so it can be reconstructed with new LED lights and a new steel frame with a better foundation.

As science proves, New Yorkers cannot tell time when they get to Battery Park or drive on the West Side Highway. Watches and cell phones stop working and the only way these good people can tell time is looking across the river at the new, easier to read Colgate Clock.