Goldman Sachs commuter boat slams into J. Owen Grundy Park

Yes this is yesterday's news but one question keeps popping up in Johnny's head; Unless the boat had electrical or steering malfunctions how in the hell do you miss your dock, one you've used many times before, by some 300 yards? Goldman Sachs, would you like to tell us what hapened to your ship piloted by a New York Waterway captain? New York Waterway would you like to tell us what happened to the captain that he missed a dock by 300 yards? Hopefully it wasn't a heart attack or other awful medical condition that caused this. We, like everyone else are here waiting for answers.

We're just glad Goldman Sachs, along with New York Waterway will be rebuilding Jersey City's park and the damage done to it. They'd better.

The Goldman Sachs building has been sprayed for bedbugs

The most recognizable building on the Jersey City skyline, the Goldman Sachs building has been sprayed for bedbugs according to ABC News. These bloodsuckers have been quite a blight in and around the New York City/Jersey City area of late and have been in the news quite a bit. So have the bedbugs.

Hey-yo (insert Ed McMahon laugh here)

The Justice Department has filed fraud charges against our Paulus Hook neighbors, Goldman Sachs

Johnny doesn't know the ins and outs of securities The Justice Department says Goldman failed in it's disclosures that were sold tied to subprime mortgage securities. He'll never figure it out. From what he HAS read and what he DOES understand there ought to be villagers with pitchforks and torches outside Goldman Sachs chasing employees to their cars to and from work. Goldman in our opinion committed terrible malfeasance on this nation's economy and then tried to use the confusing nature of the matter to get out of all responsibility.

Your day is coming Goldman, it's coming and the sooner the better....

The giant Space Cat head with laser eyes attacked a group of Goldman Sachs employees last night

The giant Space Cat head with laser eyes that has menaced the Hudson and Essex County areas (oddly since Johnny moved here from Michigan) struck again late last night, around 11pm, suddenly rising up off the western bank of the Hudson River attacking several employees of Goldman Sachs heading to Exchange Place.

"We were just dumbfounded at first seeing a giant cat head floating around, I mean who wouldn't be? Then it started shooting at us with it's laser eyes and I just ran" said Julie Evans. "I moved here to get away from sudden unannounced attacks and now this" said Parminder Salim.

Jersey City police would only say several areas along the riverwalk were scorched and a couple benches destroyed. They would not say for certain if it was even a giant cat head with laser eyes; police spokeswoman Kelly Myers said "Who knows, maybe it was a runaway Toyota that took out those benches, we just aren't releasing anymore information at this time".

Witnesses said the cat head then darted towards the New York City side of the river.

(File footage)