Sunday, October 20, 2013

Hey there NFL fans, don't turn in your betting slip or hand in your fantasy roster just yet

Not before reading Johnny's NFL pre-game prognosticating.

First off, let's talk fantasy. Don't take any Cleveland Browns again this week, month, season and do take the Lions Calvin Johnson who is more than just a great receiver, he's the Lions fans Xanax. If he doesn't play just watch 'em twitch. Dewey Oxberger was an aggressive gambler, Mr. Vegas, and we just know he'd go all in in Eli Manning on Monday night vs the Norse Marauders from the Land of Mall. Johnny agrees, bet everything.

Ok, enough of that.

How about the real meat and potatoes and Johnny throws out a few predictions for you hardcore gamblers.

Green Bay vs Cleveland
The Packers will grind the Browns bones to make their bread

Detroit vs Cincinnati
The Lions are at home so take Detroit in the battle of large cats in the midwest

NY Giants vs Minnesota
See above. The Giants win a pointless game that will cost them come draft day

NY Jets vs New England
The Patriots always win this game so here's Johnny's "It was only a car" upset pick of the week. The Jets pull the upset or the Jets will give you your money back!

Stoolers vs Modell's shitting birds
If the Browns contending means Johnny has to cheer for the Stoolers some weeks this will be a long year. The Pittsburgh 11 tend to get calls at home. They are at home today *wink* *wink*

Donkeys vs Colts
So much has been written about this game going in. Far, far too much has been written about this game. Nobody cares about the Colts owner or what he has to say. Johnny was going to pick the Colts until Irsay opened his cake hole and inspired the Denver Donkeys. Bet on the Staypuft MarshManning Man

Get out there and get your gamble on!

No comments: