Some genius, known to the County Auto Wreckers as 'Rocco' dropped off a big pile of scrap metal and at the bottom workers found a coffin. A coffin they said that was smelling pretty awful. So, of course they called police who immediately set up a perimeter around the casket, called EMS and the bomb squad just to be safe. After the bomb squad x-rayed the coffin, they said it contained neither bomb nor body. Even if it had contained a body we're unsure what help the EMS crew would have been unless they were REALLY REALLY good at their jobs.
So, going forward, please don't drop off empty locked coffins at local scrapyards, Pep Boys, McDonalds, the Jersey City Desk offices, or city hall. Learn to dispose of coffins properly which as near as we can tell and from all we've learned of years of watching teevee, means burying it in the ground, roughly at a depth of six feet.
Thank you for your cooperation.
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