Failed Times Square bomber gets our first Red Forman 'Dumbass' award

Faisal Shahzad, you failed. You will forever live your life knowing you had once chance to kill Americans and yet you failed, miserably. You set up an SUV in Times Square to blow up with ammonium nitrate and diesel fuel, three 25-pound propane tanks and two five-gallon gasoline canisters. If you were smarter and not such a failure and could read instructions right you might have pleased your evil masters.

But you're not, you're a failure AND a dumbass.

You'll get your mandatory life sentence in a Manhattan federal court today, sending you off to prison without your 72 virgins, without your river of honey and without your 4 whole fried chickens and a Coke.

Faulty wiring? Dumbass. Low grade fertilizer? Dumbass.

Some evil jagoff will no doubt succeed one day in blowing up a car in NYC, it's a reality we all live with these days. But it won't be because of Faisal Shahzad, because much like the guys who can't light their shoes on fire or those who can't explode chemicals in their underpants he's a failure.

Oh yeah, and a dumbass.