Class, please take your seats we have a lot of material to cover

OK, as Johnny's 8th grade science teacher Mr. S******** used to say "OK students, take out your penso and paypo." This was the same teacher who would put quiz questions on a cassette tape, push play and leave the room for half the hour. After he'd left and the sentry said he was safely in the teacher's lounge we'd flip the cassette tape to the side the answers were on (You know the routine pass your paper to the person in back of you). He'd play those after coming back into class. Sure we kids would make sure everyone got one or two wrong so our good grades all the year long would thus be ensured. Then he'd get awards for having the best students in the world and we all lived happily ever after.

Now the news:

*When Spectra says their pipelines are safe you can't believe a word they say. ALREADY a $70K fine has been dropped on Henkels & McCoy Inc., contractors for unsafe working conditions by OSHA. Henkels & McCoy Inc are also repeat offenders. Don't take the time to make the worksite and thus the pipeline safe, just do it fast right boys?

*Tilda Swinton is tired. If Johnny had any brains he'd go register @Tildaspillow on the Twitter and make comments on the people having their MOMA experience interrupted by a sleeping actress.

*The NYFD has real problems with racists and skinheads in their EMT Division it would seem. The son of their fearless leader jumped ship after some racist tweeting took place. The NY Post caught up with an EMT skinhead-type feller who burst into tears when confronted. How far does this sickness go in the NYFD? A retired EMS vet told the Post:

“He is not an isolated case,” a retired EMS veteran said. “He’s a symptom of a sick system. If you work in the city for police, fire or EMS and tell me you’re surprised by this, you’re a liar.”

*The NYPD has horrifyingly begun running background checks for warrants and what not on women who call and report domestic violence. Shameful right? That'll help clear up the backlog of calls because in many cases there won't BE a call. Way to go you shortsighted turds. Making some women think twice about calling 911 while being abused. That's just ignorant. This had better never ever be the case in Jersey City.

One day a Bushwick hipster walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The next day 10 Bushwick hipsters walk into a bar with ducks on their heads...