Saturday, March 16, 2013

If they made crime an Olympic event Anthony Felder would be the Michael Phelps of the Crime Olympiad

Anthony Felder got into a little dust up in a Family Dollar store on Wednesday after putting almost 50 candy bars down his trousers then shoving the store manager on his way out the door. Felder was caught and arrested. We're guessing Felder knew the process as this was the SIXTY FOURTH time he's been arrested. He's been arrested so many times they don't even know the date he first showed up on court radar (most likely when the world was in black and white and dinosaurs roamed the earth). Felder has been arrested for a myriad of offenses including, but not limited to, drug possession to theft and tresspassing charges.

Just imagine his medal haul as he absolutely schools the other competitors from other lands in events like B&E with tools; B&E without tools; retail theft; trespassing with foot chase; trespassing with foot chase over 200 meters; and of course he'd be the favorite in the crime pentathlon.

Look, over the years we've pretty much seen the Olympics are a big racket anyway, so let's mix things people love; police chase videos and sport. Just think of the touching and warm human interest story Bob Costas could do for NBC on Anthony Felder.

Costas: "I want to go back in time with you to a seminal moment in your life. Tell me about your 39th arrest..."

TLC would then give him his own show.

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