Dear Basketball God(s),
Johnny here, we don't talk much it's true. Johnny's not the biggest hoops fan as you well know. Yeah, it's been a while, 2005 I believe. Do you suppose there is any way you could work some botulism tainted food into the UCONN breakfast chow line tomorrow morning? Nothing fatal or anything like that, just enough so Pepto Bismol doesn't cut it and the Huskies are, shall we say, dehydrated. Consider it cosmic retribution for two reasons. #1 Calhoun is a cheater. Not an "I bought a plane ticket for a kid because his grandma died" cheater, no, Johnny means "a lack of institutional control cheater". #2, the state of Michigan sure could use it. While the rest of America is in the first or second year of the recession, Johnny's friends back in the Great Lakes State are in the eighth year of theirs. A really nice weekend where Detroit comes off as the beautiful city across the river from Windsor Ontario that has successfully hosted Super Bowls and the world's largest outdoor electronic music festival would be divine. It would give some mighty fine people a few hours away from their cares and give a quick infusion of happy that's badly needed. Hey, 20,000, yep, TWENTY THOUSAND Spartan fans went to watch them PRACTICE at Ford Field today. Of course you'll want to reward that kind of interest in your game.
Plus, those kids at MSU and head coach Tom Izzo are really great people. They don't go looking for cameras when they dunk a ball, they go looking for teammates. You never ever ever have to ask if Tom Izzo is running a clean program. Besides, Michigan State plays basketball the way you basketball gods intended; hard work, DEFENSE, no cutting corners and sweat equity. Why, we can even make a Jersey City case here as none other than the greatest two year college player in NCAA history, Earvin 'Magic' Johnson recently opened a restaurant here in the big JC. He grew up in Michigan, played High School ball at Lansing Everett, college at MSU, pro ball in Los Angeles but when it came time to open a business, he chose Jersey City. Ya see, it's Kismet.
Look, sleep on it, you don't have to so meddle with UCONN's food until morning anyway. It sure would be a swell gesture though. Oh, and if you see the hockey god(s) tell them Johnny's gonna need to see them again this year too.
Time for Jersey City, After Dark
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4 comments:
WELL-DONE. And AMEN, Brother!
Thanks doll. Haven't heard yet if the UCONN players got some bad milk with their Cap'n Crunch
I don't know Johnny, UConn looks pretty healthy. What the hell was in the water in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania? That center is 7' 3" - suppose I could get him to come over and reach stuff off the high shelves in my kitchen?
Yeah BUDDY!!!! We'll play for the title. UNC looks great and they kicked us once this year but you have to be IN the NCAA title game to win the title.
Thanks basketball Gods. I also think the neverending ring of MSU fans circling he UCONN hotel last night honking horns and blaring and thumping car stereos until 4am was the first thing to knock the huskies off their game. They looked TIRED. Then they looked frustrated. Then they looked like they just wanted to go home...
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