Wednesday, March 16, 2016

The ugliest new building in Jersey City is....

Jersey City has some REALLY bad new architecture going on. Everything either needs a sibling building (boring) or the architects simply could give two fucks about our skyline and neighborhoods. Johnny has decided to let you, the Jersey City residents have your say on which new building is the ugliest.

First, the rules, any new building coming online, ie allowing tenants in in 2015 is eligible for this 2016 award.

Let's not be CBS and the NCAA Tournament show and get right to the nominees:

The new Mirbella, the Oakman (Jokeman), the new Ironstate in Journal Square and little Jared Kushner's tribute to his father-in-law, the Shithead Trump building will all be eligible next year as they will open this year. Now that that's cleared up we have three key nominees all relatively close to each other:

Lloyd Goldman's The One

Void of any feeling, void of any interesting architecture, void of anything top end this is a candidate that simply can't be overlooked. Well, actually it should be overlooked but no doubt it's made many a person's eyes bleed as they gaze upon it. The backside looks like a prison entrance and the best views include a park Goldman's goofs tore up and the light rail down below.

Toll Brothers The Morgan

A Toll Brothers VP told a meeting of PADNA he simply could neither defend the architect of The Morgan, nor it's look. He said it's why Toll had a new architect to build their new Phase Two shithole at the corner of Warren and Morgan. Basic, bland, ill colored brick for the neighborhood it's in, and on the back wall that overlooks a lawn it might be the ugliest "mural" in all the land.

Shuster's Art House

A beige block of ice, a non-descript building in an old neighborhood filled with architectural gems. It doesn't help the Art House that Shuster is building an almost exact copy called The Jokeman, er Oakman right next door. One is supposed to be high end (Johnny's seen brochures dropped in his lobby like trash for the Oakman, it ain't that high end people) while the other is affordable rentals. Look at the outsides of the buildings and tell which is which. Exactly. Ugly! Branding Problem!

Feel free to jump into comments and vote for the one that hurts your eyes the most. Vote on it and make America great again LOL...

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