So, citizens, what would YOU wear to a B&E night time burglary? Before you answer, what if we threw in a hoodie sweatshirt to go along with your criminal intent Snuggie®, would you wear it then? How about if we threw in a year's supply of OxyClean®? Would you wear it THEN?
Well, dumb criminal of the year candidate Brandon Ryzner-Meredith, 18, of Newton was pinched by the police for trying to burglarize the Main Street Grocery in Newton while wearing a Snuggie® over his hoodie sweatshirt, like ya do. Apparently when police arrived all the other crooks had fled on foot but, Brandon Ryzner-Meredith apparently couldn't run very fast in his Snuggie®.
Brandon Ryzner-Meredith (and we keep using his full name because nothing will shame someone out of a life of crime faster than forever being associated with burglary in a Snuggie®) was charged with attempted burglary, a third-degree offense, and criminal mischief and possession of burglary tools, both disorderly persons offenses, felony use of a Snuggie® in the commission of a crime, and just in general being dressed like a jackass.
We REALLY await your comments on this case...