Monday, March 9, 2009

If people are peeing from rooftops and falling down drunk, it MUST be a St. Patrick's party in Hoboken

Hooo weeee man, they sure know how to have a good time up the street. According to a Jersey Journal story, things got a little nutty in the Big H this past weekend. People peeing off of rooftops, people performing sex acts in front of a window as the parade went by, teenagers falling down drunk in the streets and the usual spate of alcohol related mischief; police gave out 376 summonses this year: 220 for holding an open alcohol container in public, 52 for public urination, 33 for public consumption of alcohol, 32 for disorderly conduct or disturbing the peace, 26 for overly rowdy house parties, one for littering, 12 for other assorted violations, AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE, oops, wait, wrong holiday.

Hoboken Public Safety Director Bill Bergin says he wants to cancel the event. The Jersey City Desk couldn't disagree more. We need material to write about on a quiet Monday night. Readership improves when you have tags that say public drunkenness, public sex acts, and peeing from rooftops. God bless the Googlers. Bergin says he thinks even if the National Guard tried to keep the peace they'd have just as many problems. Mr. Bergen, they wear green, so invite them. The Guardsmen have been known to knock back a few cold ones.

Now Hoboken is doing everything in their power to ruin the fun by passing out willy nilly $BIG MONEY open container tickets, and really, how silly. How many other days do 20,000 people head to Hoboken for God's sake? The city handed out scads of those open container $BIG MONEY tickets. Now do you see why poor poor Mr. Bergin will never get his wish? It's a cash cow for Hoboken. Poo-pooing the party guests while grabbing penalty cash with both hands makes for faux outrage.

Come on down to old Hoboken Town, we've got St. Patty's fun for the whole family (language warning)

This is how kids lose front teefus while drinking. Now keg stands are nothing new, but normally said keg should have some brew in it.

2 comments:

Trixie Junior Space Punk said...

What, no random acts of kindness or helping old ladies across the road?

Johnny Action Space Punk said...

None to be found on this day I can tell you